I’ve twice written about the Strictly Scandal – on each occasion I’ve tried to understand why the media narrative gets spun to condemn the victim/whistleblower, but even more perversely, spun to reframe the alleged perpetrator as the real victim. I’ve acknowledged that Amanda Abbington is a “marmite” personality due to some of her perceived views around trans issues, just as I’ve acknowledged that Amanda has spoken publicly about her mental health struggles – the strong handsome photos of Giovanni always accompanied the stories, with a crumpled Amanda sat on the rehearsal room floor. It was very clear whose publicist was winning the battle of the media. I’ve explored the seemingly benign accepted narrative of ‘training is just tough. . . get on with it’ and how damaging that is, given that it’s still so pervasive in some colleges.

However, nothing could have prepared me for the reporting on the verdict. . with the BBC issuing Amanda an apology, upholding a number of her complaints, confirming that Giovanni had indeed been verbally abusive in the room and his behaviour had been found to have been harassing. The statement said that 6 of the 17 claims had been upheld. This was claimed as a victory by Giovanni’s team – who in cahoots with the media, issued statements of him having been exonerated – even though he hadn’t been? The Daily Mail, continued with its rather perverse narrative of lauding Giovanni because complaints around physical abuse and aggressive behaviour had not been upheld. . . so verbal abuse and harassment good, but physical abuse is where the line is drawn. Worse than that they claimed that the report had simply cited some swear words – yet nobody has seen the report except the parties involved.

Last night on Newsnight Amanda spoke about the level of abuse that she received in the rehearsal room. This was not the tale of a tough teacher implementing ‘tough love’ on a student. It was controlling and bullying. No man should be alone in a rehearsal room telling the lone female that her dancing had given him an erection. Had a member of my staff said that to a student it would have been instant dismissal. Yet, after the programme had aired – female journalists, Allison Pearson (Telegraph) and Katie Hind (Daily Mail) were still adamant that Amanda’s story had no merit and we should all feel sorry for Giovanni.

Once again I’ve found myself challenging these narratives on X and questioning why people attack whistleblowers. One person told me that she was a trained dancer and that was ‘just how it was’ – so her issue is clear. She’d been abused during her training, she’d never called it out, and therefore with some sort of “survivor guilt” had chosen to condemn the person who did what she could never do. . . stand up for herself. Was that the same for the journalists, after all that world is known to be tough, and back in the day, male-dominated? Were they jealous/guilty that Amanda had stopped the abuse when they hadn’t been able to do that for themselves?

Some women told me that they were sure that Amanda had been rebuffed by Giovanni, so had concocted the story out of revenge for being rejected. Their narrative was easy to work out – they ‘fancied ‘liked’ Giovanni and resented Amanda for ‘demonising’ their crush. Classic projection if you like.

The people involved in the culture war debacle have decided to support Giovanni as they don’t like Amanda – however, their stance also makes a mockery of ‘all women’, as this narrative would now mean ‘all women except those that we don’t like’. The glorious thing about ‘all women’ is that there are no exclusions. . .and this is a woman who’s stood up to a bully for ‘all’.

The men were much more basic along the lines of the female trying to bring down the Alpha male. Again an easy narrative to decipher from men who felt woefully inadequate or had been challenged on similar behaviour themselves.

Quite a few went for Amanda’s mental health history claiming that a woman who’s now endured 10 months of death threats, rape threats, media annihilation etc, just couldn’t stand the pressure of the rehearsal room? That’ll be the same woman who’s still speaking out against the bullying – noting that other women had also made allegations but they didn’t feel strong enough to speak out? Yet nobody’s called on a mental health check for Giovanni? His behaviour was confirmed to be harassing and abusive, and his subsequent statement claiming that he had been exonerated failed to apologise for his behaviour, in fact, he went as far as to justify it? I mean, how many red flags does one person need to have before you start demanding some sort of professional intervention?

I’m reminded of a client I worked with, who had been in a verbally, and emotionally abusive relationship – they were forever telling themselves that they couldn’t claim to have been ‘abused’ as they had never been hit. The epiphany moment when I pointed out that psychological abuse is every bit as damaging as physical abuse was quite a moment. Indeed it was this client that’s been present in my thoughts when hearing Amanda’s story being rubbished in the media. How many women are there right now in the UK, stuck in those toxic relationships and sort of knowing that something isn’t right, but too afraid to name to themselves exactly what’s happening? How many of those women are reading the posts by journalists who should know better, or random people online basically supporting the narrative of just put up with it?

I was also keeping in mind all the performers I know that have also found themselves in toxic rehearsal rooms (both in the industry and at colleges), who will be reading the media reports and convincing themselves to just get on with it, because nobody would believe them.

Sometimes you have to question whether it’s toxic masculinity or toxic feminity that’s the issue. . . then you realise that it’s both.